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| What do you mean I have tits? I work out everyday. |
Most of the thrash bands from that era had varying amounts of success. I'm assuming you don't wear white leather jackets and say "sweet bro" more than twice a day, so I'm not going to waste my time telling you every damn thrash band that was around back then. A lot of the thrash bands that played with the Metallica's of the world would never make it as big. They still tour now but play lame clubs, make little money and go back to their job at KFC after they arrive home. Yes they are the guys serving you macaroni and biscuits while they curse the day they told their fathers, "No! This is who I am, I don't want to go to college!" The Big 4 somehow evaded the shame of working for Colonel Sanders and managed to play music for a living. By the unholy will of the whore we call Fate, everything worked in their favor. Well, either its Fate or they gave enough quarters to the Salvation Army Santa Clause, that for some reason smells of rum and regret, to ensure their success in life. I have no doubt Kerry King is very happy with his circumstances, now this chubby little man gets the fat sucked from his dick every night by a trailer trash groupie. And yes to answer your next question, there is no God.
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| Watch the spikes bitch. |
I know by now all of you reading this are shaking from anticipation from who this mystery band will be. Unfortunately this band was left out, kind of like the retarded kid who wants to join the game of spin the bottle, from really continuing their success. No it's not Exodus, Forbidden, or Death Angel. *Drum Roll*........ It's mother fucking Testament. I know you're screaming at the computer now, raising your fists in the air while cursing the gods demanding why it is not Exodus. Well for one, Exodus isn't Testament. Chuck Billy fucking rules! Testament should have the same success as the Big 4. Have you guys ever heard The Legacy or The New Order. That shit is epic. Just as epic as when you were handed your macaroni and biscuits from Jeff Waters today for lunch. No question about it. Testament was mighty big in the late 80's and early 90's and then something happened. People stopped liking them so much. Maybe it was The Ritual or maybe because they became heavier in the 90's, unlike their comrades in the Big 4. Who knows...but it's bullshit! Chuck Billy looks like Pocahontas on steroids dressed ready to fight. If that isn't enough he has the best thrash voice of them all. Alex Skolnick, extra points for the hot pink guitar, is one the best if not the best thrash lead there is. Eric Peterson can't be touched on rhythm and he plays in a Black Metal band. Greg Christian looks awesome in leather jackets and Louie Clemente makes furniture. Come on guys, Eerie Inhabitants, Into the Pit, Nightmare, Souls of Black. These songs are legendary. I have had people tell me that they sound to clean, Chuck Billy's vocals suck and that they are just a rip off of Metallica. I would like the record to state these people should be deprived of intercourse. Btw, Alex Skolnick > Kirk Hammett. I saw Megadeth and Testament in concert last year and during Testament's set some guy came up to me and asked who they were. Point made. The idiocy of that question still gives me nightmares. Watch this video and just agree with me.
